i hate sports.

for anyone who knows me any better than "that blonde guy who always plays drums," you know that i am a huge sports fan. *disclaimer: if you are someone who doesn't care for sports or my brand of humor, don't bother reading on. that's all there is here. sorry. go play halo3 or atari, whatever it is you do these days.* i'm seriously considering renouncing all sports and teams i have previously been interested in. i know no one will believe that, and you shouldn't, so take it for what its worth. let us begin the long list of reasons, shall we?

the los angeles angels of anaheim:

i could do a satirical angle on their name such as "the los altos angels of torrance" or "the los angeles angels of redondo beach," but that's old. at least they're not the "dodgers." what is that? anywho, the idiots at sports illustrated were the only established sports authority who picked the angels to win the world series. they had a great season, but we all knew if they got pitted against those below average lifeforms from beantown(i'm using better language than i would like to), they didn't really stand a chance. and that's that. nine straight postseason wins have the redsux over the angels. there's always next year.

the new york yankees:

yes, i like both the angels and the yankees. some of you out there can't believe it and say that is against the rules. get over yourself. this is a free country. i was born in new york, i live in socal, and i love baseball. these are two of the most exciting teams in the league. and stop trying to make the angels and yankees rivals. its the yankees and redsox, angels and a's. the yankees had yet another disappointing postseason. one of seven in this current millenium. they need better pitching. oh yeah, and someone to take a-rod's spot. he'd be stupid to stay there. there's always next year.

the buffalo bills:

there has been an extreme bias against them since they lost those 4 superbowls in a row. 14 years ago. they are a team with one of the top 10 rated fan bases. this past monday was their first monday night home game since 1994. after hearing national media refer to them as "a punching bag" for the dallas cowboys and seeing they were a 17 point underdog by some, they gave those brokeback cowboys all they could handle. 5 interceptions and a fumble by one of the darlings of the nfl, tony romo (i couldn't think of any insult that rhymed with his last name...hmm...) couldn't quite do it for the bills. they are missing that last little spark to win games. a game winning field goal from over 50 yards as time expires is a great way to win a game. wrong team. the bills weren't supposed to win. BUT THEY WERE SO CLOSE!!! its not healthy if a sports team losing gives you the urge to drive your car into a lightpole, is it? there's always next year(or after they get to another four superbowls in a row and one one of them.)

the usc trojans

i know that usc has other sports, but we're going to talk about the only one that matters. looks like its finally time to change quarterbacks over there in troy. when you get beat by stanford, you know you had a bad game, and they had the game of their lives. there are waaaaaay to many white guys on that team to be beating usc. most teams would celebrate by going back to the dorms and getting completely plastered. the stanford team retired to their study with a glass of merlot. pansies. there's always next year.

these being my four favorite sports teams, you can understand why i want to go get braces again and make out with an electrical socket. have a great week.

***please don't take my suicide references seriously. i'm very happy and i love my teeth just the way they are.